So Many Thoughts

Wow, has this week been an emotional one. I'm not entirely sure why.

A few of the exciting things:
I got to spend some time with one of my best friends, Margaret. Always awesome.

We finally chose a wedding photographer this week. She is amazing and I think that we knew all along that she was the one that we should use. Check her out: http://andrea-wood.com/blog/ or http://andreawood.zenfolio.com/ In addition, another one of my best friends, Lorie Beth started up a photography business this week. Though she is brand-spanking new, she is also AMAZING. She's definitely got me hooked for wanting to do engagements and bridals with her. And finally, MattK has gotten into photography over this last year, so he'll get some practice time doing some engagements and possibly bridal portraits with me. So basically, our cup runneth over with good photographers in our life.

To top that all off, Will has started getting back into photography, so check him out at http://will-greene.com He's offering 100% free sessions right now as he builds his portfolio... So what better time than now to get some portraits taken for the Christmas season or just because... Seriously people, you can't turn down FREE.

So the whole wedding planning thing always makes me super happy, but for the most part I feel as if people either feign interest or they just ignore me. Which, don't get me wrong, I completely understand. I remember some details of Lorie Beth's wedding I didn't really care about-- but part of that was because I was just really frustrated that Will had not yet proposed. I just get frustrated when no one other than my mom (and sometimes Will) really gives a flying crap. But, for the most part, I'm still incredibly happy that I have the chance to do some wedding planning...

The not so exciting feelings from this week:
So, I am basically done with 11 weeks of orientation at Wilson. Each day shows me that I still have so much to learn before I will be a good nurse. Most of the time I think I have the basic patient care stuff under my belt... but even then I wonder. It's always the small stuff that tends to get me-- dealing with pharmacy, knowing when to call the doctor, just dealing with patients and their families. I WANT to be a good nurse, more than anything. I just don't know if I ever will be. I love my patients and I LOVE my coworkers, but then again I don't know if I will ever feel as if I am part of the team. I YEARN to feel like part of the team. Am I too quiet? Am I too much? Am I just too weird? I'm not entirely sure, but I sure do hope that I figure all of this stuff out before it is too late. Someone once told me "As long as your patients are still alive at the end of the day, you have done your job" I don't just want to keep them alive, I want to do everything that I can to make them better. So yes, I have not only kept my patients alive but I have at least kept their conditions stable, but sometimes I wonder if it will take me years before I can truly do good things for my patients. I only hope that I don't lose this passion I have for my job before I learn to be an excellent nurse. I have seen so many nurses lose that passion-- but then again things seem to be different at Wilson... the staff tends to enjoy their jobs more.

And finally, this week I learned that it's never a good idea to keep secrets.  Someone always gets hurt. That's all I can say on that matter.