A New Year

So, a new year is upon us. 2011. I feel as if it were only yesterday that we rang in 2000. I still remember exactly what I was doing the night of December 31, 1999-- Watching MTV's countdown to the new year. Christina Aguilera was a guest and there was a contest to see who would be put into an underground room in the event the world came to an end. This year's New Year's Eve, I barely stayed awake long enough to see the ball drop. Amazing how things change.

So, I have a handful of New Year's Resolutions that I intend to do my best to keep this year. Here's a quick look at some of the things I hope to improve about my life this year:

1- Fix my hair more often. I know this sounds simple, but there are so many days that I just throw my hair up into a sloppy bun. It's time that I grow out of this stage and start to do something better with my appearance on a daily basis. So, to start small, I intend to at least straighten and fix my hair on days that I work. Simple resolution, but hopefully it will help me to appear to be more professional, as well as help me to feel better about myself. Other small resolutions include taking better care of my skin and my teeth.

2- Make our bed everyday. I love to climb into a nicely made bed at night and have all layers of the bedding not be tangled. So many days lately we just don't make our bed. It makes the entire bedroom look sloppy. Again, another simple resolution but maybe it will make me feel better on a daily basis.

3- Lose some weight. Over the last 6 months or so, I have lost about 15 pounds without trying. I'm not entirely sure what has caused the weight loss, but I'm so very glad that it is gone. I can see pictures from just prior to graduation, and I look a lot heavier. I'm much happier with my appearance now. I can only imagine how the loss of another 15-20 pounds will make me feel. If nothing else, I would love to at least tone up my arms before our wedding day. So, to set my goals small, I'm going to do my best to lose 10 pounds before the wedding and another 10 pounds before the end of 2011. That will get me back down to 125 pounds, much closer to the healthy weight that I maintained through much of high school.

4- Read at least one book per week. One of my Christmas presents- my Nook will help facilitate this.

5- Read the news daily. Sometimes I feel like such an uneducated person when I hear others talk about current events.

6- Develop my relationship with God. I am nowhere near where I want to be with my relationship with God, but I know with His help I have an easy road getting there.

7- Keep my car clean. I am forever leaving jackets and trash in my car. It doesn't look nice. So even though it's not disgustingly filled with half-empty drinks and food bags, it's still very cluttered. Definitely time to fix that.

8- Learn all that I can about nursing. What a perfect time to start this resolution. I'll be starting my new job on February 14th in the Neonatal ICU at PCMH. I want to learn all that I can about babies and how to help the sick ones get well. With that being said, I also want to become the best nurse that I can possibly become-- I want to communicate well with my patients' families, have good time management, and to always look at the entire picture when taking care of my patients. With a 6 month orientation, I hope to reach this goal a little at the time.

9- Keep a cleaner house. I hope that if I make the goal to de-clutter the house for 5 minutes every day, my life will remain more organized and I'll feel more "together."

10- Eat a healthier diet. The biggest factor with this is cutting out eating out. We went to the grocery store today and more than stocked up on foods that we can cook at home. This will not only help us to become more healthy, but it will also help us to save money. I am determined to make this one work. I will now only allow myself to eat out twice per week. Absolutely no more. This will be hard when friends want to get together, but I will stick to my rules no matter what it takes.

I guess 10 resolutions is a bit unrealistic, but I know that as a human, I do not have to be perfect, but I must always strive to better myself. So with this New Year's, I will do exactly that- strive to be a better person, someone that I can be proud of.

Why do I always do this?

So Will and I are pretty much happy. Yeah, we're getting married so that makes sense right? Well, sometimes I still wonder why do I always stay ill at him? For example, tonight we watched an hour and a half stupid zombie show and after it was done I asked to watch something else. When Will didn't seem to interested, I kinda snapped at him that we always watch what he wants to watch. All along, I could have come to the bedroom and watched whatever I wanted to watch on the TV that is actually mine instead of asking him to watch something I wanted to watch on his TV.  Really stupid huh? I wish I didn't pick fights with him... but I always seem to. Sigh... Easier said than done.

So yeah, I'm finally a nurse

So, I've been a "nurse" since June when I passed the NCLEX, but this has been the first week where I take patients on my own and for the first time I really feel like a nurse. I'm off of orientation... for the most part. We are still limited to the number of patients we can take at any one time, but I am responsible for patients throughout my shift. Is that crazy or what? It absolutely blows my mind... I mean 3 years ago, I didn't even know what a nursing assessment is, but now people leave their lives in my hands.... Haha, not really. My patients are not critical patients by any sense of the words. But it still amazes me that I am often the one responsible for providing a good portion of my patients' care and education. Our patient population requires tons of education... Many are moms for the first time and many are recovering from surgery. What if I miss something? Do I even know enough myself to truly give my patients all the knowledge that they need to recover and take good care of themselves? I don't think that I am 100% competent by any means, but I am certainly getting there. I've never been so proud of what I have accomplished. No, I am not as good as the nurses that I work with everyday, but I'll eventually get there and no, I'm not as good as many other new grad nurses have been when they first come out of school, but we've all got to start somewhere. To think where I was two years ago when I first got started in nursing and realizing where I am at today... Wow is all that I can say... I'm loving my job, my patients, my co-workers... the whole shebang.

So much on my mind....

So, in May I told all of my friends that I was pretty much at the most perfect place in my life and that I thought I could see nothing but happiness ahead. Well, for the most part, that's still true. However, I still find myself wishing things were different. Nothing too big, but just some smaller things.

For example, next Sunday, I come off of orientation and I am 100% responsible for my patients without someone checking behind me for various things. That scares the living crap out of me. However, at least I know that I have the personality that will ask questions before I just keep doing things without knowing for sure what it is exactly that I should do. Will I ever feel competent as a nurse? I'm not sure...

Secondly, I'm still ever so slightly depressed about losing Sandy, our Golden Retriever of 12 years, a few weeks ago. We got the new little guy that you see below, who is absolutely precious... but still. When I think about how I reacted to Sandy's death, it was much more intense than I ever thought I could react to the loss of an animal. When I look back though, there were a lot of things over this summer that I did not react appropriately too. I think all of my emotions just came out when Sandy died. I guess that's normal?

Speaking of the new little guy... His name is Dusty and he's about 9 weeks old in the picture. He's sooo cute. He's still got the awkwardness of a puppy and all the love that only a dog can share with you. I absolutely adore him. He's just what my parents needed to feel the void that Sandy left.

Finally, the one good thing that I can share is that the wedding planning makes me absolutely happy. I never imagined that it could be so much fun. At this point we have the following completed: the location of the ceremony and the reception, I have a dress, my bridesmaid dresses are picked out, we have designed our invitations (we just need to figure out what time the ceremony will be and we can go ahead and print those), and many of the smaller details are finally coming together. We also have picked out our photographer... Check her out: Andrea Wood. Also, we are thinking of using Katie Pietrowski for our engagement pictures and my bridal portraits. I honestly could not be more excited about all of the photo opportunities in the coming months. In addition, my friend Lorie Beth is going to do some engagement pictures with us and she'll also do some bridal portraits of me. How exciting is life? Seriously... I have so much to look forward to.

In the more near future, I am going to the State Fair this afternoon with Margaret. I have not been to the fair since I was in the 7th or 8th grade and I don't remember anything about it at all. Isn't that weird? I hate that I'm beginning to lose memory of some of the best days of my life... I can remember so vividly my high school and college years... but I have huge gaps of my middle school years at Hobgood.  I sure do miss those friends though.

A Heavy Heart

So, today my parents told me that our Golden Retriever was hit by a car last night and died on impact. He was twelve years old, so we all pretty much knew that in the next 2-3 years he would be leaving us anyways. To imagine him dying of old age was always hard because he has had so much energy throughout his entire life. Though he had arthritis and a bad leg, he always managed to seem so happy and full of energy-- especially when people were around. I don't know if it's because Will doesn't come to our house but so much, but he always seemed to be super excited to see Will.

So, tonight, my heart is heavy. In the past, I have heard people talk about losing pets. Though I felt for them, I never really imagined how it must feel. I guess I never really thought about before, but Sandy truly was a part of the family. Though he didn't sit at the dinner table with us or go on family vacations, he was a huge part of what made us, well.... us. I can't claim that Sandy was my "best friend" as people sometimes claim of their pets, but I can tell you that I think Sandy was one of the best companions my dad has ever had. Strange to think how an animal can grow to be a part of your family. We even shelled out hundreds of dollars earlier this year for surgery when we thought he had a cancerous tumor growing on his leg. (And my parents complained about shelling out money for my braces!!! :)) One of my favorite memories of Sandy was when we went to pick him up from the surgery... He was so doped up and goofy, but his eyes lit him when he saw me and my day and he used all the energy he could to greet us with lots of slobber and that big goofy grin of his.

With that being said, for awhile now,  I have wondered if my friends have thought Will and I are strange for loving our animals as we do. I have a friend that sits as the edge of the couch (so as to not get fur on her) whenever she comes over and always seems grossed out by our cats and often refers to them as "the cat" instead of calling them by name. Will and I however, love when Mittens and Rory snuggle with us and even let them sleep in the bed with us at night. The rabbits however, don't seem to have much of a personality, but we love them nonetheless. We once talked about getting rid of them because of their smell, but when it came down to it, we just love them too much. It's crazy, because she's dumb as dirt... but Flip Flops has an amazing way of knowing when I am upset. There have been several times when I have come home crying and laid in the middle of the floor and held her close to me. She always seems confused, but she never tries to get away.

I guess the point that I am getting at here is that we all make special bonds with our animals. Sandy was some kind of special to our family. He truly was a sweet, sweet dog that never knew a stranger. I'll always remember him as being happy, because he always was. So, tonight, with a heavy heart... I'll love the rest of my animals a little more.

Just an ordinary night at our house...

So... I'm sitting here beside Will as he makes masks for Halloween at Green Acres. He's so funny when he gets to working hard. He stays so focused. He's such a perfectionist. He worries over every little detail even though he knows people will not notice details as they walk through the cornfield and are scared. Nonetheless, it's adorable.

I love our simple life together and I love having him to come home to everyday. My life with him could not be any more perfect.

Will's Birthday

So, Will's birthday is tomorrow. He'll be 26. I can remember a time when I couldn't imagine dating a 20 year old, much less a 26 year old. It seems like just yesterday that celebrations of birthday definitely included alcohol. Now dinner and going home to see the parents are the highlight. Wow, I'm getting old

Mom and I went shopping for bridesmaid dresses today. Amazing how much more difficult shopping for other people is than actually picking out my own dress. Started at David's Bridal simply because they are the cheapest. Found something that will work, but definitely not blown away. Then again, none of the dresses have really blown me away.

So excited to start taking engagement/bridal pictures here soon. Couldn't be more excited to have Lorie Beth shoot some pictures of us. Still deciding who else will do our engagement pictures. We really like Dana Jo Photography and Rach Lea Photography.... both within our price range. Let us know who you like best or if you have any other suggestions.